Information Overload

I’ve always tried to manage my anxiety disorder by being an overly organized, “Type A” person. It makes me feel like I’m in control. I thought this mindset would serve me well as a parent, but it has been my worst enemy at times. Since I’m always striving to be the perfect mom, I’m constantly setting myself up for failure. And, since I don’t want to make any mistakes, I’m often reading and researching so much that my head starts to spin. I call this “information overload.”

About a year into motherhood, I started to realize that this way of thinking is no longer serving me. Not as a parent, and not in life. At first, I was excited to follow mom accounts on social media to get as much information as possible. I like to research things and learn about different perspectives. However, I quickly realized that it was overwhelming to try to keep up with all the “right” ways to parent and I felt defeated when many of the suggestions weren’t working for us. Instead of blaming myself or wondering why my baby was different, I decided to make some changes.

I stopped following anyone who used fear-based language in their posts. (Example: “If you do this, your baby will never sleep through the night.”) I reached out to my actual mom friends, instead of taking the word of strangers on the internet. I’m learning to trust that I know what is best for my family – an affirmation I repeat to myself daily. It is such a relief to finally start to trust myself and give up on trying to be perfect. I will make mistakes, but I won’t ruin my child.

My hope is to help others who have fallen into the trap of trying to parent perfectly by following all the newest trends and research. It just isn't possible and it won't protect your child from harm or keep you from making mistakes. It’s more about how we respond as parents when we make mistakes and staying curious about how to support our child(ren) and adapt to their needs as they (and we) grow and change.

When I find myself worrying about whether I’m doing it right, I do my best to remember that the fact that I care about being a good parent means that I’m already taking the steps to be one. It’s an important distinction that being a good parent doesn’t mean being a perfect parent. If you take anything away from this post, let it be this: TRUST YOURSELF. Do what works for your family and forget all the other noise. You can always make changes if something isn't working anymore.